Why? June 29, 2009

So the question I’m posing tonight is… Why? 

I’m not asking what you think, I’m not asking why me?, or why do bad things happen?, or why is this world so messed up?… I’m not asking those questions because they’ve been asked, and for the most part answered for me in the past.  What I’m asking is a more opened question, one that if we can grasp just might change every minute of everyday of the rest of our lives.

My question is why live?  Why should we be here right now, or tomorrow?  If we know life is tough, people are going to hurt us, we’re going to mess up- then why?  Why even bother.  Why engage in friendship with purpose?  Why go to work each day, even when the day before was too much to handle?  Why forgive that person one more time, when everything in you says you’re being taken as a fool?

I don’t know why.  I don’t know what other people would answer to this, or if they can even put in words their true heart emotions towards this question. 

Here’s what I know.  There’s nothing in this world that we will EVER go through that could come within miles of  the amount of pain, anquish, hurt, disappointment, and despair that our Creator willed apon His Son.  Why would a loving Father ever do that to his one and only Son?  The only answer that makes sense to me is that there must have been a greater purpose to the plan.  Imagine what in the world it would take for you to chose for your only child to be nailed to a cross, beaten, and killed while being mocked for even mentioning a tie to you.  What would it take?  Really, what would it take for you to choose that? 

Shalom… God’s plan from the beginning for each of us.  Peace… not the kind that happens after a fight with your husband, or after the toddler in you home finally crashes.  Shalom is like a lake at the top of a mountain that is so untouched that it flawlessly reflects every ounce of creation around it through it’s glassy top.  Now apply that to a person, and it’s almost impossible to picture.  So what happened?  Sin entered the world, and infects everyone- the only release of an infection like this is death.  Our Creator is so grieved by the sin in our lives, that He wills his only Son to pay the price for our sins on the cross.  When we personally understand that, we admit our sin, accept Christ’s payment, and begin a close intimate relationship with our Creator- the one who knew us before we knew ourselves, who loves us more that a mother loves a baby, or a husband loves a wife.  We expierence pursuit by the One who smiles when we think of them, knows every thought is our head, cries with us EVERYTIME we hurt.

So that’s salvation, as I understand it.  How does that apply to “why”?  If that’s true, God’s plan is shalom and sin wrecked any possibility of expierencing it to it’s fullest intent while we’re here in this world, then why bother.

Today I was in my office, getting “ministry” done.  Distracted and overwhelmed by the busyiness of the tasks that were piling up- I picked up the phone to make a call.  I relized that the line was quiet when I picked up so I said hello.  On this line was a person needing to talk, a person needing to talk so much that he didn’t really care who was on the other line, he started pouring out his soul.  It was the end of the line for him.  He was done.  Life had ended, and he had choose to close the book.  What could I possibly say to that?  What do you say to someone who has NO hope.  Someone who sees nothing worth anything in this world. 

So I listened.  I spoke little, I don’t know really what I said.  I tried to give some hope, and I somehow got him to accept medical attention… but I just listened.  I don’t have a great end to this post… I don’t know how it ends.  So tonight I’m praying for that man, and for myself to figure out, and solidify like concrete in my mind and heart the answer to the question “why”?

Technology… June 26, 2009

So I bought a Blackberry on Ebay.  Waited for a week, was very excited for what it would be like… It came in the mail yesterday, and I called to activate it.  I must be so far behind the world.  Evidentally, you have to add a “Data” plan to be able to use Blackberrys. 

After making the call to resell the phone, I posted on Facebook about the deal, and said it’s going to Craigslist.  Now I am hearing pursuasive talk from friends about keeping it.  “I don’t even touch my personal computer anymore”, “you’ll love it”.  So obviously that sounds great, right.

Flash back to the 90′s… I know was in High School then, but go with me.  I remember getting my first Email account.  After picking the name, checking it daily- only to receive 1 or 2 emails a MONTH… I lost interest.  My “hotmail” account got shut down because it went too long without activity.  Look how far we’ve come in 15 years. 

There’s tons of benefit in staying so connected, but I have to ask- is there harm in it as well?  Not in being “connected”, but relationally.  If we read “status updates”, gets Twitter posts, email, text… on and on- are we really building relationships that matter, or are we just filling our head with surface information about everyone we’ve ever known. 

I love hearing about my friends from High School’s children, I also love to see what’s on my husband’s cousin’s mind- since they live so far away.  But if my time gets any more consumed with checking status’s, replying to email, reading blogs…. I will probably burst. 

My kids are entertaining themselves with a squirt bottle in the kitchen, and I’m “blogging”.  My kids come and ask for me to read a book, and I say “just a minute”.  My friends husband is in the hospital, and I check Facebook to see how he’s doing, instead of picking up the phone.

I just have to wonder…. are we getting closer to computers….. or people?

Catch up and AFFIRMATION… June 19, 2009

I haven’t posted for several months.  Partly because facebook is just such a great way to keep in touch with everyone. 

Life’s been good, here’ the short story:

We’ve had family living in our basement for 6 months- including Eliza- born on Feb. 5th.  She’s pretty amazing and it’s been such a blessing to get to be so close to their family.  I think I can say Tim and I have finally settled after last years ridiculous amount of renovation to our home.  Tim started a new job in January, after his old company went bankrupt.  I just had surgery… recovering well.  And the girls are both getting so big.  Ashlyn starts Kindergarten in a month, and Morgan thinks she is too.  Overall- busy, but  life is pretty sweet!

 

 

God has been so real to me lately.  I’m reading the Ragamuffin Gospelwhich is a VERY deep book- too deep for me really, but I’m getting a lot out of it.  I am however convinced that this is the true intended version of Christianity that most of us miss.  I read the most amazing thing just the other day.  If you’ve accepted Christ,  I pray this is just as much of an encouragement to you, as it was to me.  And if you don’t know Christ personally, read this and read below:

Has it crossed your mind that I am proud you accepted the gift of faithI offered you?  Proud that you freely chose Me, after I had chosen you, as your friend and Lord?  Proud that, with all your warts and wrinkles, you haven’t given up?  Proud that you believe in Me enough to try again and again? 

Are you aware of how I appreciate you for wanting Me? 

 I want you to know how grateful I am when you pause to smile and comfort a child who has lost her way.  I am grateful for the hours you devote to learning more about Me; for the word of encouragement you passed on to your burnt-out pastor; for your visit to the shut-in; for your tears for the retarded.  What you did to them, you did to Me.

 

If you don’t know Christ, think about it for just a minute.  There is someone amazing, greater than anyone you’ve ever met; more perfect.  So this amazing, great, perfect person- know’s you.  Created you, wants you.  And if you can grasp that, think about this.  Not only does He want you to pursue Him, but He is appreciative, grateful, and PROUD of you when you do.  What a concept.  In this world, there are few people who have theses feeling towards us, if any.  Now imagine them coming from the One who created you, nit you in your mothers womb, listens to your every word, sees your every tear. 

Thank you Father for loving me this much.